Serena - bright smile

A few weeks ago, I was having a hard time adjusting to my new reality to overcome a health issue that has severely changed my life. First, let me summarize the health challenge I have been dealing with. I began having strong vertigo, dizziness, and imbalance followed by strong migraines about 3 and a half years ago. I was diagnosed with vestibular migraine, which means I would never be completely cured of this but learn how to live with. Not until recently, I was also diagnosed by an audiologist with something called vestibular neuritis, which means I can actually overcome all the vertigo, dizzyness, and imblance, and improve the migrane effects. This was good news, and I began treatment right away with medicine and physical therapy for dizzyness. The medicine didn't go well, I felt all side effects, but fortunately physical therapy has been working well. This is an important context about the physical therapy: Basically, physical therapy helps me try to do movements that I have been avoiding since the first attacks of vertigos and dizzyness. This part is annoying because I have been restringing myself for so many years that I lost confidence to move as I used to. It was as I had trained my brain that if I do certain head and body movements, it should activate vertigo, dizzyness, or imbalance, with or without migraines. And now with physical therapy, I have to go agaisnt this habit or get out of my comfort zone, and try to move a few times to each direction that causes me any vertigo, dizzyness, or imbalance,feel them, and let them go. According to therapists, it will teach my brain to connect with the nerve that was sore, and tell that it's safe to move without triggering dizzyness and all. That's the part where I wanted to reach and highlight such a warming moment I had, a few weeks ago. I think it was on Tuesday or Wednesday. I know it was after Monday(when I usually do physical therapy). I was having a hard time to endure the tiredness that comes from migranea, dizzyness, and nauseous. However, as I was feeling sad and emotionally discouraged to begin the dizzyness exercises, my toddler Serena approached me with her usual happy face and bright smile. I couldn't not notice her light affecting me immediately. It was one of those moments that I was able to both enjoy her presence in the middle of my struggle, and comprehended the gift that Heavenly Father gave when sending her to me. I needed her at this moment of my life! I quickly wondered how would my life be like without her at that very moment that I was having difficulty to do the exercises to overcome dizzynes and all changes to improve my health. The answer was clear. I would not have her beautiful face and smile to brighten my life. I would have missed such a graceful way to be encouraged to try again. She helped me recover the strenght to keep trying improve my health. What was once discouragement and helplessness, became gratitude and courage upon seeing the joy of baby Serena's smiling face.

My school assignment about my first changemaker: Suzana

The changemaker I would like to talk about is my oldest daughter. Here is something I wrote about her: 1- When she wants something she goes after it. She is consistent, intelligent, and a driven person. 2- I have to struggle to exercise and do therapy, so she is an example for me of someone that is determine and follow through her goals. 3- She made a great impact in my life since she made me a mother. Because of her, I had to change a lot of bad habits in order to be a better mother. 4- She inspired me to be a better mother, I improved my healthylifestyle, and improved my spirituality as well. I could talk about each of my children, since they all came and impacted me somehow. I learned with each of them. But I chose to talk specifically about Suzana because she is the oldest, the first that gave way to my personal improvement, and she has consistently being an inspiration for me throught her life. Some examples of her personality and impacts: When I began teaching her how to play piano, at age 4, she received the task, trusted in her parents, and practiced. She did it so well that very soon she advanced and began playin piano better than me. Years later, she wanted to learn how to do split, because of her ballet classes. She created a plan of exercises, and she consistenly trainned everyday to achieve this. After this, she wanted to use ballet pointe, and with practice she also achieved this. When I decided she would be homeschooled, she accepted the challenge, and she basically homeschooled herself. My husband and I had only guided her curriculum, but she made it happen everyday, with focus, planning, and following through. She has become a woman, decided to study abroad and applied to the whole process herself, moved to another country by herself at age 17 to attend college, and she is now serving a mission. She has to lead some missionaries, and I am proud of the work she has been doing. About my live presentation, and slide part: Can you expand on the fact that she is a changemaker for me because of impacting my life right from the beggining when she was born. On that moment, I felt I was her whole world, and I felt the heavy responsibility on my shoulders of helping her become a good citizen to this world. Right that, at that moment, besides that burden, I also felt the motivation to change myself first in order to be the closest human example for her of how to live her life. Somethings she inspired me to do include overcoming my childhood traumas, search healing from past experiences, so I could give myseld into motherhood with a health mindset, following my instincts, and really guide her. If not, if I hadn't work on myself first, I couldn't have taken a good care of her. Can you also include that while a teenager, she became very aware of the importance of taking care of herself. She learned how to make health food, and became insterested in Yoga. Nowadays I also practice yoga because of her dedication to the practice. She inspires me to be brave, happy, and calm.

Evolução da Serena depois do 1° aniversário

Essa semana a Serena completou 13 meses! Passamos da fase do primeiro ano, e agora ela é uma toddler. Fiquei impressionada com a evolução dela nesse 1 mês depois do aniversário de 1 ano. Já vi ela tentando calçar sapatos sozinha do Wagner, meu e dos irmãos...Até o próprio sapato dela, rsrsrsrs. Passei a deixar ela assistir Baby Einstein em casa (antes era só no carro), e ela ama. Ela já tenta falar as vogais e números, aponta para as fotos que indicam o que ela quer. Está conversando mais, mais não saiu palavras certinhas ainda além de mama, dada, book, e duck. Foi também a primeira vez que ela ficou bem doente, pois acordou no dia 2 de setembro (aniversário dela) vomitando. Ela já não é uma bebê gordinha, e agora perdeu mais peso ainda depois desses dias de vômitos e diarréia.

Conselhos para eu me lembrar sobre parentalidade

Coisas que aprendi com meus filhos: Quando uma criança ou adolescente desafiante dá sinais de que quer que você se afaste dele cada vez mais...Nós pais temos a tendência de fazer isso, às vezes por respeito, por ser fácil, por vários razões, mas é quando temos um adolescente rebelde que mais devemos nos aproximar.

Eu amo o nosso caos

Há mais ou menos duas semanas, eu tive uma conversa com Wagninho muito esclarecedora. Surpreendentemente, depois dessa conversa não me senti angustiada, como as outras conversas que tive com ele. Dessa vez eu tive a oportunidade de deixar claro o que eu penso sobre nossa família, e o que eu espero dele como parte dessa família. Primeiramente, deixe me explicar como consegui entrar e sair dessa conversa sem uma atitude confrontadora. Tudo começou na noite anterior à essa conversa. Quando eu estava conversando com Wagner sobre Wagninho, no porch. Falei algumas coisas desagradáveis que Wagninho havia feito e dito pra mim naquela semana, e que eu estava só aguentando. E Wagner adicionou alguns adjetivos muito fortes sobre Wagninho, que foi difícil para eu ouvir, mas que eu sei que são verdadeiros. Não é nenhum segredo que Wagninho já me contou mentiras para se favorecer, mentirar bobas e desnecessárias, ou omitiu informações importantes por sei lá quais razões...E isso sempre me preocupou como mãe, mas entendo que ele pode mudar, pois eu já contei mentiras também para me favorecer e com medo de enfrentar a realidade. Até que me cansei de não ser verdadeira, me cansei de não ser uma seguidora de Cristo completa. Fiquei triste de ouvir da boca do meu esposo, aquelas coisas sobre nosso filho. Não me conformei em aceitar que não poderia fazer nada para ajudá-lo. Imediatamente pensei que uma solução que poderia ajudá-lo, além de arrependimento e Cristo na vida dele, seria uma psicóloga ou terapeuta. Então chamei ele para uma conversa, mas ao invés de me comportar como mãe, eu fiz de conta na minha cabeça, que era uma psicóloga. Isso foi um bom exercício mental para me ajudar a desconectar emocionalmente dele, e não sentir as ofensas dele tão forte (é parte do temperamento dele tentar ferir nessas conversas, então já éo esperado). Dentre tantas respostas imaturas às minhas perguntas importantes, eu percebi que algumas pontos precisavam ser esclarecidos para ele. Mesmo assim, foi doloroso ouvir do meu filho que nossa família, nosso lar era um caos. Então tentei explicar à ele que não era meu propósito ajudar alguem que não queria ajuda, mas que para o nosso relacionamento funcionar, sem tantas cicatrizes, algumas coiasa precisavam ficar claras. Uma delas é que apesar de todas as nossas imperfeições, eu amo o caos da nossa família, pois é um caos baseado na tentativa de acertar. É um caos baseado no amor e desejo de melhorar. Ao passo que dizia isso também assegurei meu amor por ele apesar do caos que ele tem me causado. E que é dessa mesma maneira com Jesus; Ele nos ama como somos, o caos do jeito que é. Isso tudo não quer dizer que irei permitir ou ate incentivar desorganizacão e descaso. Nem Cristo aceita o pecado ou rebeldia. Ele ficou impactado com essas palavras, ao ponto de chorar, e me pedir desculpas. Foi uma boa conversa porque finalmente eu consegui definir limites no nosso relacionamento mãe e filho. Sim sou mãe, e isso significa que como a adulta do relacionamento preciso estabelecer limites e exigir o mínimo de respeito para termos um relacionamento agradável e duradouro. Foi o que exigi dele, respeito ao falar comigo, sem ofender, e pensar antes de tentar ofender a nossa família. Fiquei mesmo feliz por ter dado esse passo, e ter controlado minhas emoções. Falei de coração aberto, e estabeleci as regras e consequencias que o desrespeito só resultaria no enfraquecimento do nosso relacionamento. Não desejo isso, mas também tenho limites.

A look to the eternity

A look to the eternity I really liked this sentence, and somehow it made a big impression on me. My goal is to write something about that...I don't know what yet. Maybe something to do with the fact that when I see myself in the eternity this clear up my perspective and helps me make the necessary changes in the present.